Friday, August 28, 2009

Gullible’s Travels: Universe V3.5

Last night I returned to the planet Digitanus, and I was a bigit with the implausible name Hlushbrimgual3-2. Upon searching my memory as I performed this alien individual, I found that my name was based on my sexuality. Since Digitanusites are actually a blend of animal and plant, their reproduction is based in part on a budding process that produces offspring, but requires three individuals to participate in a complex mating ritual that requires separate sexual acts over a period of time equivalent to 3 of our Earth years. I will not go into a precise description of those sexual behaviors, as that would amount to Digitanusian pornography and is therefore inappropriate to this journal. However, I bring up the mating process because my Digitanus name, Hlushbrimgual3-2, is based on it. I am the result of the mating of 3 plants and 2 animals. The plants were of the Hlush variety, and the two animals were respectively of the brim and gual species.

In the dream, I was a member of the Hlush Field, a political party of extremely maniacal bigits. The Hlush Field is a semi-secret religious organization of bigits of the Hlush/brim/gual variety that believes its members are above the usual moral and legal standards of Digitanus. Most of its members are in government, and all subscribe to a religious dogmatism that places them at the center of the universe, and free of any restrictions their religion would place on mere tripatium or quadigit, or even on other bigits. Hlushbrimgual3-2 was actually the bigit who proposed the Hlush Field leak a statement through an untraceable intermediary that claimed their King was an interloper from another universe (V3.6).

In my dream I (Hlushbrimgual3-2) was engaged in an illegal sex act with a plant of the vergitatum variety. While thus engaged, I / he / it was also thinking about how I was going to get more digim (money) from the Procreation Care Insurance Companies so I could buy a new mud swamp castle in the luxury resort of Hrulprathul, a lush tropical paradise in the southern hemisphere of Digitanus. I can’t begin to describe what the sexual act was like, as the sights, sounds, smells and sensations were totally alien to me. However, I (John of Earth) - while intrigued though quite put off by who I was and what I was doing on Digitanus - woke up in a sweat, shaking, and with a queasy stomach.

No comments: